DEAR CRUSH

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Dear Crush
When I see you, I hold my breath.
Sometimes I have to remind myself that I
need to breath. When I see you, I can’t
stop staring. Sometimes it’s so hard to pull
away and if I were to keep staring, my eyes
would be stuck that way. When you’re next
to me, it’s so hard to concentrate.
Sometimes I gotta tell myself that you’re
just a girl, no one special. Well, that’s what
I keep telling myself, but my heart seems to
disagree.
Every time I see you no matter what I’m
doing, my heart beats like the fabled Tom
Tom drums of West Africa. I might delay to
say it but I think I’m in love with you.
However, falling in love with you is only half
of what I want. Staying in love with you till
forever is the other.
Everyday I hate the way I torture myself
with the idea of you, when you’re not even
mine. Not even a little bit. I overdose on my
imagination then withdraw from your
affection. I fill myself up and then I starve
on the truth that I don’t have you. Maybe I
never will. Even in pure exhaustion and
disoriented thoughts, I always find myself
thinking about you.
I messed up. Fell in love and got in some
“we” shit. Snapped back to reality. Put my
guards up and now I’m on some “me”
shit….but here you’re tempting me to go
back down that road….again.
Will it last forever or it’s gonna go down in
flames? I love you from afar. Hey,still
there crush? You are the moon of my life.
That’s all I know and all I need to know.
And if this is a dream I’ll kill the man who
tries to wake me.
It’s okay to be good looking. It’s a basic
desire. Believe me you’re the most
beautiful girl I’ve ever seen in my life. But
tell me, is there something else about you?
Something deeper perhaps? Tell me the
words you use to describe pain. Tell me the
experiences of past lovers. What do you
think about sex? Love missionary? Doggy?
Walk me through your journey. Let me fit in
your shoes. Take me to the places you’ve
been to. I want to know about your
passions,wildest dreams ad fantasies. What
do you think of the Big Man up there? Tell
me your beliefs in God or lack of it.
Tell me about your mistakes,past and
present.
I want to see the places you want to hide.
Places that my heart knows exists but my
eyes don’t see. I’m in love with the parts of
you that you try to hide.
I know part of your story. You’re fucked
up. I’m fucked up too. But sometimes. ..it
takes two fucked up people to make a
normal relationship.
So what’s it gonna be?
       
POET :  CHIDY

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